Saying Goodbye to my Mother

Seattle Airport -Departures

My sister Denyse, brother Steve, Sandy and I left Osoyoos this morning at 8am.  

Stopped by the hospital to say goodbye to my sister Anne (who had spent another night with Mom at the hospital).  We all said our last goodbyes to Mom.  

Then we got on the highway and had a quiet drive through the mountains to Maple Ridge, and at 3:00 dropped off my sister Denyse at her home. It was then that we received the news that my Mother had passed away at 2:00.  We drove on to my brother Steves home in White Rock.  We had a quick dinner with  Steve, his wife Margie and daughter Ashley and they drove us to the Seattle Airport. (another 3 hours)

Feeling absolutely cold emotionally, drained and exhausted.  

Now we fly to Houston Texas, then to Miami and on to Puerto Plata.

We should arrive tomorrow around 1:30 pm.

At the moment I don't feel anything but I'm not looking forward to the time when it all starts to sink in.  

My mothers last hours were very difficult to watch as her physical suffering increased.  When we first arrived she was able to talk with us and her intellect stayed keen even under the effects of medication and pain.  The last few days though, she responded only with hand and body movements as verbal communication became impossible.  In the middle of it all I leveled anger, confusion and accusations at God.  It was very hard right then to accept God as merciful or compassionate, loving or kind. Why should my mother have to suffer like this?  What benefit could come?  I found my faith sorely tested as appearances did not conform to what I thought they should be.  Yet I knew how strong my mothers faith was and wondered if She was questioning these things.  She, trapped inside a cocoon of physical misery that is our mortal body, no longer able to communicate other than an occasional moan that escaped as nurses shifted her position every couple of hours to ease the pressure on bedsores.  There was no way to know as she appeared to slip beneath the level of consciousness, her lungs laboring as fluid increasingly continued to interfere with her ability to breath. 

 

Still, as the hours and days passed I felt that I  received unspoken answers to my questions and doubts.  I can't describe it logically or put it into words but peace quietly enfolded my soul.  

Unfortunately it was not so for some members of my family who's anguish caused them anger, pain and bitterness.  I had no answers to give them, nor any words that would comfort .  I could not seem to share what I had received.

And so we take another step forward, just trusting ...

Thank you for your prayers.

May God bless you and keep you.

Dave Chapman